80/20 Rule

S is definitely my 80. There are times that I wonder how I ended up with him, for he is nothing that I ever imagined. However, he is everything I needed. I believe that is what is magical between us. I never thought it would be him. There are things that I wish were different about him, but there are things I love about him. There is no need for me to try and search for the guy with the fat ride and booming bank account (the 20), when I know I have someone who cares for me despite my erratic attitudes and mood swings!!!

S brings something new to my life. I've never eating so much African food or listening to so much international music. And not to expose to much, but I feel so comfortable naked around him. He's so caring and sincere....it's amazing. Never knew I'd feel like this, but he is something else. I love the good morning text messages he sends, the wake up calls he gives me, I love wake up next to him, I love how he says my name, and the list could go on. I could complain about all the (little) things he doesn't do, but I just love focusing on the big things that he does do. He definitely lights my fire!

I'm just enjoying the journey! I'm through searching for the 20% !

This Weekend: Love and Life

This weekend I volunteered at my old internship. Every year they host a big awards ceremony that celebrates and honors Black writers. This year they honored Ms. Sonia Sanchez with the North Star award. Little ole' me got to check her in and escort her off the stage. For me, and inspiring book acquisitionist and English degree holder, I felt like I just touched a rockstar! Little and bold, she stood on stage and dedicated her award to OUR children, not THOSE children. It was wonderful! To be in a place with brilliant Black people who love literature!!!



I digress.

Man It's Been A While

So, I said yes and fell in love. You know, with S. He's like the India.Arie song "Beautiful Surprise." When I first met him, I was hell bent on getting him out of my life. I was afraid he was going to stop my flow of meeting other guys. When I told one of my guy friends this, he reminded me to not let go of something GREAT just because I wanna play the field or see what's out there. So, I let my heart go, and I found him. He's awesome. He cares for me. He's there for me when I need him. Compliments me completely. Meets me where I end. I love him. It's crazy because it has only been 5 months since we start dating, but I've falling for him quicker that I have with any other guy. I'm excited where things are going to go.

Since I'm not going home for Thanksgiving Break, he has invited me over to his family house. So, I'm going to meet the rents in a few weeks. I'm excited! Not sure what to wear. Not sure what to bring. I am sure that I will be on my best behavior. I want his family to love me. He is very close to his parents and siblings, so them liking me means a lot. I wonder if they'll have a problem with me being American?

I'll try to update more reguarly....even though no one reads these things!

Am I ready?

So, I'm still hanging out with S. It's great to have someone around who I can depend on. It's no questioning if he likes me or not. I have no problem calling him up and saying lets hang out. At first I was a little skeptical about where our friendship was going. I was ready to commit myself to YOY and date as many guys as possible. However, I am realizing that me and S may be moving toward something greater than YOY. So, I wonder if I am ready?

Because the young twenty something me wants to go out on many dates as possible. While the "I want a man" me says welcome him and commit. I'm waiting for a sign that tells me it is alright for you to fall for this man, but does signs like those exist? Because when I started YOY I said that all I wanted was a man who called me on a regular basis and take me out on dates, Im convinced that Black men have forgotten how to take women out and perfer to just "come through" or "chill" at someone's house, but now I realize that I want something more.

Soul Mates: Ribs and Hearts

So, as the blog started as a diary of me and my friends it has transformed to a blog on my thoughts on love.

I despise the word soul mate. See God created Eve to be Adam's help mate, and Adam and Eve, as humans, fell in love and Adam coined Eve his wife. And because Adam and Eve messed up that mate stuff by eating the apple, God said a man who FINDS a wife is lucky because he gave up on pairing us together. So, I would be a fool to belief that God is in heaven creating a man just for me. I believe humans come up with the idea of soul mates to justify failed relationships, why things "just won't work," and explain why they are still single. I am tired of hearing those fictional synopsis of a woman being in Paris and meeting her Nigerian King while he is on vacation from London. Our eyes will meet and we'll falll deep in love and he'll give me pretty black babies. That is BULL!!!! The truth is the search for the soul mates leaves us all bittter, because we are alays wondering when is God going to send him/her. Maybe, just maybe God has already sent him to you or you to him, but as our help mate and it is up to make the our "soul mate." But since your meeting of Mr. or Ms. Right didn't involve an a foreign land or eventful story finding forever in the brother/sister at your job. in your class, at your church, etc. seems difficult.
Let us also consider the fact that you can find love and forever in multiple people, just not everyone, but it depends on how much effort you are willing to put in. I believe that their are multiple people we can connect with. Don't get caught up in that soul mate crap. There are PEOPLE out there for you. It is up to the man you meet to call you his soul mate, his forever, his meant to be. Because God sent you a help mate it is up for your future husband to make you his soul mate!!!! Like Adam feel for Eve and claimed her as his, so will my husband. I'm convinced that if I moved to Omaha today or live in DC forever I will find someone whom I'm willing to give my heart, because he will give me his rib!

Text Messaging is the Devil!

So, what is up with guys thinking a text messages is an appropriate form of communication? I hate it when a guy send text messages, but rarely calls, and think he is doing something! Honestly, for me, text m,essaging allows me to communicate with a person when I don't feel like talking to them or tied up with someone else. If I have something important to say, I pick up the phone!!!!! I believe if a guy is interested in you, no matter how busy his schedule, he'll find time to call and say "hi, how was your day?" This is why I believe text messaging is the devil, or a least a tool for weak men to communicate. Now let me state that I don't think a guy text messaging me is inappropriate. Personally, I enjoy those good morning or I enjoyed myself texts, but those I haven't talked to you in a few days and I saw you called so I'm just going to text you to make it seem like I'm interested text are DUMB and uncalled for. The reality is I often get texted from numbers I don't recognize because after not talking to someone for so long their number gets deleted.

Men please don't let text messaging be your primary form of communication!!! Woman don't let these men feel like they are doing something by texting you when a call/decent conversation is what you want!!!

I am well aware that this has nothing to do with the YOY or any interesting dates, but I think it needed to be said! Besides, I am a few months into the YOY and I guarantee you I have meet my share of guys who rather communicate with their thumbs than with their mouth!

Oh yeah, for the past couple of days when I leave work there are always this group of airforce guys, so you know what my next mission is! You got it, met one of those guys and go out on a date. Let's just hope he knows how to do more than send text messages!

What's going on?

The YOY has come to a screeching hault!!!! We all have become comfortable with the guys we met or have yet to meet anyone else. I'll give you all a brief rundown: Toothis showed up at my door unannounced, my friend contemplated mailing a book back to a YOY so she wouldn't have to face him, and another friend meet a YOY tried to woe her with bible scriptures hoping that she ignored the fact that he slept on a black metal day bed in the corner of his aunt's daycare. Oh yeah, S is still around. He knew I didn't have groceries, so he brought me juice! I could not tell him we just need to be friends, but the time is coming soon becuase he has been hinting about a relationship.

With the lack of excitement in the YOY, we all want to know where are all the men at?

Despite the lack of excitement, I realize that the YOY gives you confidence and it teaches you how to date again. Although me and my friends are young 20 somethings, we sometimes forget what it means to date. A few of us had been in long relationships that just didn't work, so now jumping back into the dating scene is crazy. When I go out to a club, bookstore, restaurant, or even the metro station, I always look around to see if there are any cute guys around. I am not longer afraid to apporoach a guy that is attractive, and most of the time men are impressed when a woman is bold enough to approach them. So, Although the year is slowing down, I am, and I am sure my friends are, learning so much about dating and myself. I relaized the type of love I want and a few dates and phone calls does not guarantee you a spot in my heart, speed dial, or my bed!

I meet a fine guy on U street yesterday, lets see if he calls!